Human side
by SugarMuffin08
Summary: With Danny s help Steve is remembering his human side. If only for today.


**I woke up around 2am this morning, with this idea in my head that just wouldn´t let go. So I sat down and wrote it. Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

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><p>Remembering was painful and he was avoiding it for as long as possible. Still there were moments when his guard was down, when he felt the wall he had build around himself to avoid those memories began to crumble. There were cases he worked on as the leader of the Hawaiian task force that reminded him and that touched him deeply, even if he wouldn´t say it.<p>

Danny didn´t know what Steve had been through and what he had seen and done, he only knew it was classified. And he didn´t have to know the details, he saw the effects and he saw the memories taking its toll on Steve, every day a little bit more. They all had their package to carry and despite his unbreakable outside and his strong will and unorthodox methods, Danny knew that Steve was effected by all that. He had learned to lock his emotions and to focus on the task. He was trained to not let his feelings cloud his decisions and to not loose it.

But today was one of those days where Danny saw Steve´s human side. Ever since they met in his father´s garage which had been the start to a fast, dangerous and challenging partnership, Danny felt obliged to force Steve to allow this human side. But no matter how much he teased Steve and how much he wanted him to open up, he also knew when to stop. It was like he felt that there were boundaries that Steve couldn´t cross. Because he just didn´t know how to deal with the aftermath.

"Hey partner, you up for a beer?" Danny asked when he entered Steve´s office and saw his friend staring out the window, his body rigid and tense, his hands shoved into the pockets of his black cargo pants. Turning around slowly, Steve wasn´t able to mask his feelings quickly enough, but he didn´t really care. After all this was Danny. But hiding it was a reflex, a trained behaviour that had helped him survive so far.

"You´re paying." Danny chuckled and saw a small smile tug at Steve´s lips. The tall, dark man nodded.

"Where are Kono and Chin? They´re not gonna bail out, are they?" he asked and Danny flashed him a huge smile.

"Nah, I thought it would be nice to have some alone time without the kids. You know, just you and me and a beer..." he teased, counting silently.

3 – 2 – 1 …

"Danny, what the fuck?" Steve asked, his voice slightly rising, a look of utter confusion on his face.

"Just kidding, partner. They have left already. I didn´t think you´d be up for a teams night out today." His voice got serious and his eyes told Steve that Danny knew something was off.

Steve sighed and rubbed his hand across his neck, feeling the rigid muscles and the slight burning pain. It´s been a long day. He grabbed his phone and checked for the millionth time only to find no missed calls and no message waiting for him.

"You´ve done that countless times today. Whenever I would look at you, you´d be staring at your phone. What are you waiting for?" Danny asked and Steve shook his head.

"Nothing. Let´s go." he walked passed Danny and waited at the huge glass doors for Danny to follow. With a dramatic sigh the blond detective followed him and without asking handed him the keys for the camaro.

They drove in silence, both men lost in their thoughts. Danny couldn´t read his partners face but he thought he saw something in his eyes. Something close to pain. He knew that whatever it was that was bothering Steve, he wouldn´t achieve anything by forcing Steve to tell him. But he planned on helping his friend, he just didn´t know how.

The bar was directly at the beach and it was crowded on this Friday night with young people that needed to blow off some steam after the week. They had live band that played some pretty good 80s rock and Danny found himself smiling, thinking back of that one bar in Jersey he would frequently go to for after work beers with his colleagues. Well, until he got married and Grace was born. After that, he had spend his Friday nights with his family and he found that this quality time was a much better relief than getting drunk with felon police officers.

They found a place on the porch and ordered 2 rounds of beer. Watching the crowd and just enjoying the laughter and the noise around him, Danny could see from the corner of his eyes that Steve checked his phone again and slid it back into the pocket.

"Am I keeping you from a hot date?" Danny teased and Steve frowned before relaxing.

"Nope." he said and toasted Danny with his beer bottle before gulping down half of it at once.

"Because if I do, I´m willing to step back. It seems like you´ve been waiting for something all day."

"It´s nothing, Danny." Steve said and gulped down the rest of his beer.

"I assume you won´t just tell me what´s bothering you, right?" Danny sighed, slowly sipping on his beer and watching his partner intently.

"I´m fine."

Danny was about to explode and he sure would have if he had to listen to this obvious lie one more time. He glared at his friend, daring him to say it again only to give him a reason to explode and vent and rant and just blow off. But Steve stayed silent, smirking at his partner. Danny wasn´t the only one who knew how to push buttons. One thing Steve had learned over the past 15 months was that Danny had a great heart and he was always supportive. He had saved Steve´s life on more than one occasion and Steve knew that he could trust his partner. He had his back. Steve knew that he could just tell Danny what was going on, Danny would understand and he would listen and help.

Steve just didn´t know how. He wasn´t used to telling someone about the feelings he kept inside. He wasn´t used to someone caring about him so much he was willing to miss an evening with his wife and daughter, only to come to a loud bar and drink beer with a friend who needed to be reminded of his human side.

4 hours and a couple of more beers for Steve later, Danny watched his partner for the hundredth time that evening to pull out his phone and check the display. They hadn´t talked except the usual banter and it seemed like that was exactly what Steve needed. No matter how badly Danny wanted to know what was going on, seeing Steve relax, the tension leaving him and a smile growing on his face, was enough for now.

The beer might have helped to lighten the mood. The band was good and when they started playing some old Bon Jovi songs, Danny laughed when Steve rolled his eyes at his partner and sighed defeated but his fingers would drum rhythmically on the table to the songs.

"Ready to go home, partner?" Danny asked and Steve nodded. Leaving some bills on the table they got up and Danny smirked when he noticed the slightly unsteady way his friend moved with. He was glad that he decided to switch to water, knowing that he would be the one driving his car tonight.

When they got to Steve´s place Danny killed the engine and sat there watching his partner who had closed his eyes and rested his head back.

"You´re home, big boy." he said and Steve slowly opened his eyes, staring at his home before turning to look at his partner.

"Thanks, brah." Steve smirked and opened the car. But he hesitated a second and turned around. "Want to come in?" he asked and the look in his eyes told Danny what he needed to know. Without another word he got out of the car and followed Steve inside.

With a chuckle Danny watched Steve grabbing a bottle of Whiskey and two glasses and then he followed him outside. They sat down on the desk chairs on the lanai. Steve placed his phone on the table and poured them both a generous amount of the golden brown liquid before toasting to Danny.

"Here´s to the ones that won´t be forgotten." he said silently and Danny swallowed the lump in his throat. He was reminded of his own package that sometimes weighted so heavy on his heart that he felt like he couldn´t move an inch.

"Here´s to the ones lost." he answered and their glasses bumped together.

Both men relaxed into the chairs and watched the stars, listening to the ocean while sipping their Whiskey. The silence was filled with the sounds of the night and with the thought of words that none of them was ready to voice yet. But it wasn´t uncomfortable.

"You can crash in Mary´s room if you want." Steve broke the silence and Danny grinned.

"I see that this has been your plan all night long, huh?" he got serious. "You just could have asked me to stay, Steve." He sensed his partner unspoken need for company, for someone there.

"What? And miss all the fun in the bar with you singing along to Bon Jovi´s greatest hits?" Steve chuckled remembering.

"You have to admit the songs are catchy. Even you enjoyed it, no matter how much you tried to hide that fact."

"You´re rubbing off on me, Danno." Steve chuckled and poured himself another glass of Whiskey. Finally, he felt the warmth spread from his stomach to every sore muscle in his body. And his thoughts began to slow down, not coming to a halt but to get slow enough for him to grasp them and to make sense again.

Again silence fell upon them and Danny wondered if he should just go home or crash in Mary´s room, when Steve broke the silence.

"I was waiting for Calleigh to call."

"Who is Calleigh?" Okay, prepare yourself, Danny boy. This is going to be what you wanted to know.

"She is Mike´s sister. He was a friend, a good friend. And he was killed in action 5 years ago today. Calleigh would call me every year on this day and we´d talk about Mike. But today she hasn´t called."

"Did you try to call her?"

"Yes, 3 times." Steve leaned his head back and closed his eyes when he felt the memories emerge and his guard was down. He wasn´t able to fight them anymore, the alcohol and the knowledge that Danny was there, made him get careless. Or maybe it was just accepting the fact that he was with a friend and it would be okay to allow them to emerge.

"So that´s why you´re constantly staring at your phone. Tell me about Mike."

Steve sighed and Danny was aware of the inner turmoil his friend was facing.

"We´ve been through hell and back countless times. He was my commanding officer. When I first met him after joining the SEALs I felt intimidated by him. He would rarely smile, he was tough as nails and he would push you further then you ever thought you could possibly go. But he would have your back. He was killed during a mission when he saved my life." he stopped for a moment and tried to hide the fact how much even talking about it effected him. He still felt the loss and the guilt. But those talks with Calleigh had helped him remember Mike the way he deserved to be remembered.

"I was waiting for her call today. Usually she would call when she wakes up in the morning. She´d be in her pyjama still with a mug of coffee and then she would call me. We´d talk for hours, every year. She told me once that Mike would be embarrassed to know how much we are talking about him. But to her this is a way to keep the memory alive and to thank him for what he did. She´s a great girl...," Steve chuckled sadly. "Well actually she is a 29 year old woman and she is just as strong and content as her brother was. Much prettier though."

"And now you´re worried." Danny said and saw Steve nod.

"And I´m missing her. Our talk." Steve said.

"Try to call her again." Danny suggested and Steve looked at him, unsure of how to react.

"Maybe she doesn´t want to remember anymore. Maybe she has moved on and wants to remember him in silence. Alone." he said, knowing how that must sound. But still a small part of him felt betrayed that she had seemingly taken the grieving and remembering from him by simply not talking to him.

"You´ll never know if you don´t try it." Danny said and got up to give his partner some privacy. He squeezed Steve´s shoulder to encourage him and went inside. When he saw Steve grab his phone, he smiled, hoping that Calleigh would answer the phone this time. Steve needed this conversation more than he would admit, but his human side reached out to Calleigh.

"Calleigh? Hi, it´s Steve..."

"Oh god Steve! I´m so sorry I didn´t answer earlier! Today has been hell and I just got back in..."

With a relieved smile Danny went to his car, knowing that he could leave Steve alone now. Danny was the last person to deny Steve´s human side the comfort of a familiar soul to help him remember.


End file.
